A couple of days ago, I had some free time on my hands so I decided to do some ‘spring-cleaning’. I used the term spring-cleaning in a manner of speaking though. There is no such season as spring in my part of the world. By the way, I hope I’m not the only one who finds cleaning therapeutic.
Back to my spring-cleaning activity, having cleaned the room, I set out to sort my clothing and arrange them properly. In the course of sorting them, a truth dawned on me: Just as we take time to sort our clothes now and then, we can/should do the same to the relationships we keep.
Anyway, the cloths I sorted fell into different categories depending on their condition. Let’s see how each condition represents different levels of relationship…
👖Clothes that had already outlived their usefulness.
Back in the day, these set of clothes were my best outfits. However, with time, and due to wear and tear, they got obsolete and it became obvious I couldn’t wear them anymore – even to the next building on my street. Just as wear and tear happens to clothes, time and chance happens to every man. We need to understand that not all relationships we make are for all seasons. Truth is some friendships are situational hence the need to be perceptive enough to know when the purpose for it has been served and let it go.
For instance, at various points in my life, I’ve come in contact with people I didn’t know from Adam. However, early into the contact, I came to realise that those individuals actually had needs that God would want me meet and set out to meet it right away. Sometimes, it was the other way round. Meanwhile (sometimes), having met that need, we still try to continue occupying each other’s space until things start getting funny and it dawns on me that there was no point in the continued association. In fact, if I hadn’t consciously put an end to it, perhaps things would have gotten messy between us and what started as pleasant would end up being regretful.
Know when a relationship has outlived its usefulness and pull the plug on it with love.
👖Clothes in good condition but in need of adjustment.
These clothes still looks good on me. In fact, some of them still look as new as ever. I just needed to adjust them so they can fit perfectly. Interestingly, there are folks like that in our lives. They are like fresh wine; they get better with time. These set of people radiate positivity and are healthy company to keep. However, we’ve abandoned them due to some slight issues or challenges they are going through. We forget that our lives isn’t just for ourselves and that a friend in need is a friend indeed. A true friend is not self-seeking. Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other. You are not a good influence to your circle of friends if you don’t leave positive impacts on them.
👖Clothes I felt emotionally attached to despite their terrible state.
Do you remember those clothes you were given as gift items by folks who are dear to you? Think about how much you cherished them. They may not be the best designer and all but you don’t give a hoot about that because you place more value on the thoughtfulness of the giver. Each time you wear them, they bring back good memories of those individuals. Unfortunately, no matter how much you cherish them, you can’t wear them forever, thanks to wear and tear. In fact, we may become worried if you keep wearing them when it’s obvious they are only fit for the trash bin.
The same analogy is applicable to some of the people we keep around: That ex with whom you had your first taste of relationship; that lady who went to hell and back for you when you were down; that senior colleague who sacrificed his time and convenience to bring you up to speed… Well thank God for them all. However, over time, you’ve observed that things are beginning to get out of hands between you, inordinate feelings are setting in, unnecessary drama rearing it’s ugly head… However, because of the history you share, you find it difficult to let go off them even though the relationship is becoming draining and toxic. Here is a piece of news for you: You not only lose what you cling desperately to but also lose yourself in the process.
👖Clothes that were excellent but I had abandoned.
Sometimes, in the process of ransacking my closet, I discover some clothes I haven’t worn in a long time. I’m even more surprised when I try them on and discover that they are fit to be worn for occasions. I ask myself: Why on earth did you put them away in the first place?
The situation is the same for some friendship/relationships we consciously or unconsciously let go of. I speak of kindred spirits, unconditional friends, folks who are beneficial and seek our good. Why do we shoot ourselves in the leg by drifting away from this lot? The sooner we find our way back into this blessed circle, the better the quality of life we’ll live.
👖Clothes that were obviously bad and needed to be discarded without delay.
Sometimes, I go out, buy myself an item of clothing and I’m excited about it; only to get home and discover it’s fake. At other times, Good ones get ripped to the point of disrepair. Funny enough, occasionally, I find myself retaining them.
Let’s call a spade a spade: what’s bad is bad. There is no vacuum in nature. Whatever/whoever doesn’t breathe positivity will eventually minister negativity to you. Appendages, counterfeits, fair-weather friends, leeches, non-committal and spiteful individuals are bad outfits for you. If you happen to have them around, bid them good riddance asap. Your life will be better for it.
LET’S WRAP IT UP!
Where I come from, we have an adage that says ‘people are the clothes with which we cover ourselves’. By extension, the kind of outfits we wear says a lot about us. In essence, we are what we wear. It’s no different from the kind of people we surround ourselves with: We are the kind of company we keep. Let’s take time to spring-clean that company so we get to know who is who in our lives.
Thanks for reading. Your feedbacks are well appreciated.