1000+ Amazing People! Thank You!!!

A little over a year ago, 500 wonderful folks chose to identify with this blog. I made a post to celebrate them and also share my ‘progress report‘ on this platform.

I’m glad to announce that that number got doubled today. 500 more amazing people have subscribed to this blog.

Folks, we are 1000 people stronger!

For a fellow who doesn’t feel he puts in much effort into blogging activities, this stride means a lot to me and I’m so grateful.

I’m grateful to you all for been a part of my blogging life. I’m grateful for every single likes, comment and reblog. I feel encouraged by your engagements with my blog and every single post.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t think of you as mere stats/figures to boast with. I think of you as individuals with unique abilities, experiences, ideas and worldviews. Each having something valuable to offer.

This platform has availed me the opportunity to

  • Add value to people in my own little way, without any limitation in time and space
  • Connect with good people from different countries of the world
  • Meet and make real/wonderful friends. People I have come to know in person
  • Be a better writer and communicator
  • Partake of the wisdom and rich contents from fellow bloggers…

Thank you once again for your support and contributions. More than ever before, I’ll write, follow up on your posts, share my $2 thoughts and build healthy relationships.

Cheers to more years of adding value 🥂


©IBUKUN

Words!

I used to have a friend who I considered an intelligent and highly creative writer (well, he actually is). The guy rights effortlessly well. Be it fiction or non-fiction, always making sense.

On the other hand, I was a rigid & (struggling) writer. You could call me a good writer as far as constructing meaningful and grammatical sentences was concerned. But no more. My writings usually lacked the flourish/finesse required to make an interesting read. 80% academic & 20% creative.

So each time I wrote a piece I had spent a great deal of effort on and considered quite good for publication, I sent it to him to critique. However, I observed he mostly downplays them: “No substance, lacking in this, devoid of that, bla bla bla. I can’t remember anything positive he ever said about them. And when I ask him to suggest areas of improvement, he merely makes a joke of it and ‘moves on to other matters’.

I remember writing a short story that I was so excited about. I was sure I had done a good job of the storyline, characterization, plot structure and all. I believed it was going to make an interesting read . But alas, when my good friend read it, he couldn’t see any big deal about it.

It turned out to be one of my best work of fiction.

By the way, I minored in literature so I understand what constructive criticism is and I’m all for it. It brings out the best of a writer. But what my friend kept doing was everything but constructive criticism. More like devaluation. I wasn’t looking for someone to rob my ego. Just someone who could point out

I wasn’t looking for someone to rob my ego. Just someone who could point out what I was doing wrong and how I can do it better.
Each time he makes his comment, I become displeased with what I had written and no longer felt enthusiastic about it. All of a sudden, I start to see from his point of view and begin to consider the writing as no good. His words were getting to me and sowing the wrong seeds.

But thankfully, I came to my senses before real damage was done. I realized that this friend was more of a clog in the wheel of my writing pursuit. As far as getting better with my writing was concerned, he would be of no help to me. There and then, I quit sharing my works with him.

Perhaps his manner of feedbacks was his own approach to helping me with my writing skills. Perhaps he meant well, in his own way. But in reality, with his constant dose of negative words, he was sowing seeds of discouragement in me.

Dear friends,

Words are powerful. They dominate our lives. Be careful the kinds of words you allow to come at you because they create your realities.

Man is a product of words. What he hears, when he hears it long enough, settles in his mind, informs his thought pattern, dominates his consciousness and consequently affects his life and decision making.

Words (whether positive or negative) are like arrowheads. When shot with precision hit the target 🎯 with such a force that leaves a lasting impact.

Negative words have the capacity to….

🎯Set you on the path of discouragement & frustration

🎯Make you devalue yourself

🎯Make you lose your sense of self-worth/esteem

🎯 Cause you to be fixated on what seems to be wrong and lose sight of the wonderful things about you.

🎯 Breed inferiority complex and the need to (over) compensate.

🎯 Limit a man’s progress and make a shipwreck of his goals, dreams and aspirations.

When you have accommodated people who complain about how dark you are long enough, you’ll stop thinking black is beautiful and start considering bleaching your skin.

When you tolerate folks who consistently tells you about how your writing lack form, very soon, you’ll start thinking you are ‘not destined’ to write and quit writing entirely.

When you permit those who never fail to impress on you your supposed lack of business acumen, you end up thinking you are not cut out for business and give it up eventually.

Be wary of

❎People who are quick to point out what you do wrong but hardly talk about good things you do

❎Those who (by their words and actions) make you feel bad about things out of your control – defects and all

❎Highly opinionated folks – your opinion can never count with them

❎People who often downplay your ideas, efforts and activities

❎Cynics and pessimists – everything is wrong in their opinion

❎Bitter people – they speak from the abundance of their bitter hearts

❎Folks who peddle in stereotypes – they are hardly intelligent lot

Rather, surround yourself with

❤️Folks who can criticize you constructively

❤️Folks whose words bring out the best in you

❤️Folks who are full of words of affirmation and encouragement

But more importantly, remember this:

You are what God’s Word says you are. God’s Word should have the greatest influence on you and your life.

Give no room for negative energy. Be particular about the words that come at you!

P.S. This post was inspired by the post of a fellow blogger @theafterthought titled: “The healing Power of Words” You can check out her blog for that post and more refreshing writings.


©IBUKUN

THE “SEE FINISH” SYNDROME 👀

Some time ago, I did a job for a friend who needed my writing service. We’ve been friends for a while and she has come to know me quite well. We agreed on terms and conditions and I began the work immediately.

Businesses Lesson No 1: Doing business with a friend can be tricky. If not well managed, you could end up with both a ruined relationship and a bad deal. Be wise about how you engage in business with people who are close to you.
I held up my end of the bargain. Gave the work my best and finished it in good time. Meanwhile, I didn’t charge her the standard fee for the kind of service because I was being nice and friendly. After all, it’s not all about the money. 😎

Business Lesson No 2: Unless you run an NGO, try to not to carry over friendship sentiments into your business dealings. While it’s reasonable to give special considerations to friends, it shouldn’t be to the detriment of your business.
What is more, I didn’t bother to ask for a down-payment (which is standard business practice) before committing to the work. I mean, she is my friend and shouldn’t default in paying. She’ll pay up as soon as I’m done with it.

Business Lesson No 3: Unless you are working pro bono, do well not to commit to a business bargain without a down-payment. People can be funny.


So I finished the work and delivered it to my dear friend even before the time agreed upon. She thanked me profusely for a job well done and then dropped a bomb on me:

I have to be ‘sincere‘ with you. But I’m not sure I can afford the fee. You are my padi (friend) na. You of all people should understand. Just let me pay you XYY (way below what I charged for the job)”.Note that I had already undercharged for the service while putting more finishing touches than what is generally obtainable. Meanwhile, she knew all along she couldn’t afford the agreed fee but chose not to say a word about it until the work was done and delivered. And why is that? “Isn’t it my friend ABC? What can go wrong?”

To cut a long story short, she didn’t pay me the much devalued fee until weeks later. What was more baffling was her attitude to it all. ‘I’ll pay you when I can’ 💁‍♀️. And why is that? She knows me too well: ‘Mr Nice Guy’ who will turn the other cheek when slapped.I chose not to take offense or let her conduct cause a rift between us. Took some doing though. But one thing is sure. She had lost my goodwill as far as business dealings with her was concerned. I won’t be doing business with her anytime soon.

By implication, she has lost out on:
📌 Having a friend who can get the job done promptly.
📌 A fellow who will execute the job as if it were his own.
📌One who won’t rip her off but will  charge her reasonably well.
📌 Someone she can fall back on to help her with the kind of service even when she is broke.

You see, it’s not a cliche when folks say too much familiarity breeds contempt.


I believe familiarity, in the real sense of it, shouldn’t breed contempt. After all, how can you claim to have a good relationship with someone if you don’t have a level of familiarity with them? But then, my people will say ‘when a handshake goes beyond the ankle, it has become something else’.

It’s great display of wisdom and maturity when we don’t allow the privileged information or access we have to people cloud our sense of value and regard for them.I believe it’s a terrible lack of judgment when we treat those close to us or care about us with less regard while we worship at the feet of folks who care less about us.

You go out of your way to treat an outsider nicely and respectfully while you disregard those you know closely. Seriously?

There is an Algerian proverb that says “there is an excess of familiarity at the root of all hostility“. I think it’s not far from the truth.

Remember what transpired between Jesus and his kinsmen? They couldn’t receive the blessings he had to offer because of the background knowledge they had of him: “Who does he think he is? Isn’t he the son of the carpenter we’ve always known?”

Someone once said that too much familiarity makes us devalue those we love the most because we are used to them being around. 💯

Nigerians have a colloquial way of referring to this malady. They call it SEE FINISH.

Oh, you mean Mr. XYZ? I know him too well.”

” Don’t mind her. Isn’t she the same girl I know? She doesn’t have much to offer.”

SEE FINISH is why
📌A family member of a man of God fails to receive healing from him while other church members do.
📌 A wife is bemused when outsiders speak highly of her husband 😏
📌 A friend fails to take another seriously and misses out on a vital information passed on by the friend.

I can go on…

Whatever you do, avoid being too familiar (SEE FINISH) with people. You will lose value for them and not make the best of your relationship with them. You will shoot yourself in the leg!
Thank you for reading.


©IBUKUN

ODE TO MOTIVAT🎤ON: ON A LIGHTER NOTE

I remember how back in my undergrad days (can’t remember what level now) the network giant MTN sponsored a program where Les Brown, one of America’s foremost motivational speakers, was invited to speak to us undergraduates.

And without a doubt, he did a hell of a job of it.

Well, he wouldn’t have done any less for a service fee of $50,000.

Yes, you heard me clearly. He earned $50,000, back in 2010, to tell us good stuffs.

But that’s by the way…

He did his thing and did it like the master motivator that he was…

Les Brown

He provoked the emotions of many as he recounted his grass to grace story. Even the seemingly hard guys soon became teary-eyed.

But before we could call for a pity party, he had begun got to throw the classic punch lines at us, getting us all psyched up:

“If I can make it, you can make it… Don’t see a problem, see a challenge… 😎Believe you can do it, trust in yourself…Focus on the process not the destination…If you can think it, you can achieve it”, bla bla bla

By this time, the room was up in smoke (not literally). Majority of the students in attendance were already getting fired up to go take over the world. We all couldn’t wait to leave the auditorium to go pull up mountains and pull down the sky.

Such was the excitement Les Brown’s pep talk created.

You could tell that he was visibly impressed at the ‘commotion’ he had created as he bade us farewell and left the podium, $50,000 richer.

Hardly had he left the podium than the anchor came up to tell us a class act was about to take on the stage. The program was about to come to an end with a performance by a star artiste.

Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise as I present to you Nigeria’s No 1 rapper, the one and only MI!…

The last words had barely left his mouth than the audience (students freshly inspired) jumped off their seats and rend the air with a deafening scream…

Then came in the Mr Incredible (MI) himself, doing his hit track at the time.

The song was Anoti.

MI

And trust me when I tell you that he brought the roof down with it.

Boy! The ‘just ignited’ students were doubly ignited. Some even made to run onstage just to touch the helm of MI’s garment. The bouncers had a hell of a job restraining them.

Think about it…

Just some minutes ago, this lot were being stimulated by Brown’s powerful speech. But before you could say Jack, they were gyrating away to MI’s brand new beat with careless abandon.

In no time, the bulk of them had danced $50,000 worth of Les Brown’s motivation away.

They left the auditorium more pumped up with MI’s hit song than with Les Brown’s fair speeches.


When all is said and done,

Motivation is an internal process which only the person can control. Others can influence, encourage, or inspire. Only the receiver can motivate themselves to action. Jean-Pierre


© IBUKUN

DELIVER SUCH UNTO SATAN.?

You all know the story. This ‘wonderful’ brother in the church of Corinth was having an affair with his father’s wife… I’m thinking a much younger wife but his step-mum nonetheless. Meanwhile, the sexcapade wasn’t a product of error – a one-time affair; he made a habit of it.

I’ve heard some say the fellow couldn’t have been a Christian. He must have probably been a mere churchgoer. No ‘real Christian’ can stoop so low into such a despicable. Well, I’m afraid he was indeed a Christian.

Just in the first chapter of the book, 1:2, Paul address his audience (the Corinthian Christians) as saints, i.e. holy. In fact, he praises their spiritual fervency in verses 5 to 7. However, just two chapters away (3:1-4), he refers to the same men he praised earlier as folks who behaved as carnal (mere) men. Although they were spirit-filled believers, traits as envying, jealousy and strife manifested in their conducts.

A believer can fall into sin when he fails to allow God’s Word influence his mind and consequently conduct.

Back to our dear brother – I’ll call him Brother Thomas. So Bro. Thomas -a man we were supposed to look up to in the church – was getting his step-mum laid. As if that wasn’t enough, the (Corinthian) church, where he worshipped, was nonchalant about it. In fact, they got arrogant over the matter: After all, unto the pure all things are pure.

You could imagine Paul’s indignation when he heard both of Bro Thomas’ lewd action and the I-don’t-care attitude of the church towards it. So you have such a ‘terrible Christian’ making a habit of fornication among you and turned a blind eye on it? How dare you allow him fellowship with you as if nothing happened and thereby make him feel comfortable with his actions? I’m ashamed of you all!

So Paul passes judgment over unrepentant Bro Thomas…

…to deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus

Now, this is where our wild imagination kicks in. Deliver him to Satan? Apostle Paul, sir, do you mean we should seize Bro Thomas, take him to the Temple of Satan downtown and hand him over to Lucifer’s representative there so he can inflict bodily/physical on his body?

Paul would have been baffled by such reasoning. He couldn’t in any way have thought of bringing Satan into the picture. Think about it: A believer sins and we invoke the devil on him. How does that add up? What has Satan got to do with saints, even when it comes to correcting an erring believer?

To deliver such an one unto Satan is a manner of speaking!

To start with, the word Satan in the Greek is the word that means ‘accuser’. A reference to the name connotes accusation hence to deliver a fellow unto Satan will imply delivering (subjecting) him to accusation. That accusation will happen via excommunication!

Notice Paul’s major concern was the fact that they didn’t isolate the brother so he can be ashamed of his act:

…in place of feeling sorrow, you are pleased with yourselves, so that he who has done this thing has not been sent away from among you.

…purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump.

…I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators

…Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person…

He kept harping on the need for them to dissociate themselves from the brother so he won’t be a bad influence on the other believers.

Bro Thomas is being unremorseful/unrepentant. To deliver him to Satan will therefore mean to subject him to accusation by not keeping company (identifying) with him so that he burns with shame to the end that the lustful appetite in him can be destroyed. Hence Paul’s judgement was to serve as a corrective measure.

A believer has no business with Satan. When he sins wilfully, he is to be judged and corrected by the church and not the devil. It’s not unheard of for a believer to fall into an error. However, it’s uncharacteristic of a believer to make a habit of it. When that’s the case, the church will walk in love (correct) towards such via stern reprimanding.

Remember, bro Thomas’ ‘harsh judgment’ of excommunication is not forever. Just because he sinned does not make him rejected by God. God still cares about him and wants him straightened up, hence the correction.

Delivering him to Satan (excommunication) is to make him ashamed and correct him. When the correction is achieved, he is to be restored to the gathering and accepted back with love.

Hear what Paul had to say about Bro Thomas much later:

2Co 2:6 The majority of you have imposed a severe enough punishment on that person.
2Co 2:7 So now forgive and comfort him. Such distress could overwhelm someone like that if he’s not forgiven and comforted.

Forgive him, comfort him and absolve him back into the fold! He is not a meat for the devil. He is a believer regardless.


Image Credits: Psychology Today, Fatherly,

JOB AND HIS TEMPTATION: GOD’S ROLE IN IT…

The book begins with a glowing description of the main character Job. I particularly like how Good News Bible puts it: He was a man who worshiped God and was faithful to him. He was a good man, careful not to do anything evil. What a man!

He wasn’t just a religious man but also a prosperous one. Actually, he was said to be the most influential person in the Middle East, back in the day. So this man had it all: The ‘fear’ of God and ‘a fat bank account’. What can go wrong?

But all of a sudden, a little thing called peripeteia happened to him. In simple English, he suffered a sudden tragic reversal in fortune. Well, the truth is the adversary, the devil sought to devour him. He envied his piety and prosperity and sought to inflict pain on him to the end that he loses faith in God. However, his devilish might notwithstanding, he couldn’t get to him without a loophole.

You see, the believer cannot be possessed of/by the devil because his body is God’s temple. He also cannot come under the devil’s authority because he has been translated into the kingdom/dominion of God/light. However, the believer can subject himself to the devil’s affliction if he lets down his guard.

Back to Job…So the devil needed an inlet and he found one – fear. Fear is a potent weapon in the devil’s arsenal. Listen to Job’s confession after the successive series of … that befell him – 3:25-26:

Everything I fear and dread comes true.
I have no peace, no rest, and my troubles never end.

His life was ruled by the fear of the unknown…He consistently conceived them in his mind till the devil made it a reality for him.

Interestingly, all along, Job thought God was the mastermind of his misfortune. In fact, he gave God the glory for what the devil did:

The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Many believing folks are like Job. They think God has a hand in the unpleasant things that befall them.

I once heard a true-life story of a clergy who paid a condolence visit to a woman who lost her baby. In his way of consoling the bereaved, the clergy said: Take heart. Your baby’s death is God’s will. You can’t but submit to it. That unguarded statement dealt a blow to the woman’s faith in God.

Some will say “God was surely involved in Job’s misery. He gave the devil the permission after all”. And of course, they make reference to the supposed conversation about Job between Satan and God. Now imagine the scenario: Satan strolled into God’s presence and had a dialogue with him? God and the devil having a tete-a-tete and struck a bargain over one of God’s children? Unthinkable!

What communion hath light with darkness?

What you find in Job 1:6-12 and 2:1-7 is a documentation of a spiritual reality as perceived by the documenter. Obviously, the writer was not present when these opposing forces were having their exchange. He must have gotten his …via a vision and in a vision, things seen are mostly not clearly understood and therefore requires revelation.

God never had a hand in Job’s desolation. It was all the devil’s mechanization.

God delivers from evil. He is never involved in it.

Here is another conspiracy theory: God made Job go through the hellish experience just so He could try his faith. What kind of God is that? God made me lose my job so I can be committed in church? God took my child from me to see if I’ll still serve him regardless? That’s not the God I serve!

Have you not heard?

It is not possible for God to be tested by evil, and he himself puts no man to such a test-James 1:13

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above – James1:17

God is light, and in him is no darkness at all – 1John 1:5.

Can you, as a father, ask that your son be kidnapped, punished and coerced into casting aspersion at you just to test how loyal/faithful he is to you? I think not. How much more the father of mercy and grace.

Ask yourself: What does stand to gain from such action. What pleasure does it bring to him to see his beloved suffer needlessly? If (hypothetically) God ever needed to test your faith/salvation, then his redemptive work wasn’t foolproof.

What was God’s role in Job’s temptation?

It’s the same role he plays in all temptation:

You saw that the Lord ended Job’s suffering because the Lord is compassionate and mercifull – James 5:11b.

God is true, who will not let any test come on you which you are not able to undergo; but he will make with the test a way out of it, so that you may be able to go through it- 1Cor 10:13.

God doesn’t tempt anyone. He is merciful. He provides a way of escape. He delivers from evil. This is my God!

For the most part of the book, through his dialogue with his friends, Job, in his limited knowledge, thought it was God dealing with him and testing his mettle. But he was wrong. He came to the realisation of the truth after God had upbraid him. Hear his confession at the end – Job 42:3&5:

…I have talked about things that are far beyond my understanding.

I heard about you from others; now I have seen you with my own eyes.

He was ignorant of God’s involvement!

Rather than allow the devil to have a swell time over things that concerns us, we can exercise our authority in Christ over him and get him to take his hands off your things.

He is a good father. All the time!


Image Credits: rainbowtoken.com, Manna Ministry

©ayansola ibukun

DEAR BELIEVER

Dear Believer,

The Bible is already inspired (by the Spirit) – don’t inspire it. It is birthed in such a way that its understanding and application is singular, from one saint to another. Hence, your bias will never make it mean what it never meant.

God’s Word is the same yesterday, today and always. It’s not subject to variation with respect to time/space or individual outlook. If Jesus or His apostles (in their epistles) didn’t teach it, it can’t inform your conduct.

Therefore, resist the temptation to use God’s Word to validate your whims and caprices. That urge to intentionally misconstrue/twist the scriptures or interpret it out of context to justify dishonorable/ungodly actions/conducts is not of God – fight it.

Never get to that point in your Christian walk where you get comfortable using the bible to explain away or create excuses for wrong doings. Quit trying to cherry-pick from God’s Word: identifying with parts that sooths you and discarding/ignoring those aspects that addresses certain flaws in your life.

As a believer, you have no right to a personal opinion outside the purview of the Written Word. Thus, allow God’s Word to entirely influence your heart and consequently your life(style). In the place of prayer and diligent studying of God’s Word (in the local church), you submit to the training of the Spirit such that your selfish interests give way to God’s desire and design.

God has blessed you!


Image Credit: The ladders

©ayansola ibukun

WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN…

Such a flaw in human nature
Never to value what we have until we lose it.
The cares and love of real ones to neglect
And desperately seek to please the one who cares less.

“They’ll always be there” so he takes them for granted,
Until they call his bluff and live him deserted.
Gold in the hands of the undiscerning is a travesty
Pearls also should never be cast among swine.

He trades off his kin at his season of plenty,
Never to be regained in his period of paucity.
Such a sturdy cord it is that binds folk together
But then it snaps when it suffers the strains of mistreatment.

The river that forgets its source becomes history.
Love is not a caged bird…endearing yet unfettered.
Much is expected from whom much is given
So don’t lose the moon while counting the stars.

Time…attention…care…gratitude…empathy…
Nothing fans the flame of love and respect than these.
Love unrequited, feelings unappreciated, efforts unacknowledged…
Nothing bids true affection goodbye than these.

When you sell your brother to a stranger,
Even the buyer will trust you no longer.
When you relish a façade and shun the bona fide,
To whom shall you turn when the chips are down?


©ayansola ibukun

CARE, NOT CONTROL!

You don’t have to turn into a bird at night and fly to the coven before you practice witchcraft. You are into witchery each time you bend others to your will or make them feel inadequate.🦉

How about you killed that idea that you are the only one with the answer to people’s problem and quit trying to fix others. Truth is it’s manipulative when you always want to be the sole reference point to other people’s growth/success.

Here and there, you’ll find folks that are invaluable but never will you find a fellow who is indispensable. He is therefore a fine specimen of a man who knows when to get on the pitch and play and when to watch from the sidelines.

Your friend seeks your counsel over a matter and you give her your best. She however ends up not taking it and you become offended… She gets into a relationship with someone you don’t approve. You sit her down and express your misgivings about her choice. She however tells you to trust her judgment on the matter as she knows what she is getting into. But regardless of her assurance, you stick to your gun on the matter and begin to resent her so much that it causes a strain on your friendship. Tell you what? You were never deserving of her friendship in the first place.

Trust your loved ones enough to be able to make the right decisions now and then. Love is not manipulative and neither does it lord over. Trust their judgment on matters of choice. In essence, learn to respect people’s privacy, opinions and decisions. Why cry more than the bereaved?

When a handshake goes beyond the elbow, we know it has turned to another thing. It’s good to feel concerned, to be perceptive and caring about people who are dear to us. However, it’s out of place to make them live in your shadow. Love/care for folks should engender confidence in them and not make them tied to our apron strings.

It does you no good to be overbearing. We all get to learn on the job. So cut folks some slack. A breathing space now and then will suffice.

Consider the relationship between the tire inflator and the tire. When deflated, the tire relies on the inflator to get back to shape. There is however a limit to the extent of air pumped into the tire otherwise it blows up and becomes useless. But what good is the inflator without a serviceable tire?No one is an island. We all need each other to grow.

Learn balance – don’t choke people with love, care and guidance.

CASE STUDY

A parent’s job they say is never done. But at what point in life should a child begin to make his own decisions while the parent simply play advisory roles? At what point should the parent cease to think for them? Many a child today resents their parents for their lots in life. And why is that? They forced a lot on them: what course to study…who to marry and where to marry from…what church to attend and activities to engage in…and the list is endless.

In my own clime, you hear parents say to a grown child As long as you are under my roof, you can’t attend a different church…As long as I’m your father, you can’t marry that girl. Pure manipulation. A parent has failed when his child(ren) doesn’t outgrow the dependency stage.

If I care about you, I’ll respect your opinions/choices. While I’ll do my best to play a positive role in your well-being, I won’t presume to know what’s best for you than you know.

Be a mentor, teacher, guardian, provider, trainer, leader…but not a tin god.

There is a thin line between care and control. Never cross it.


©ayansola ibukun

ABOUT LETTING GO…

I know what to throw away and what to keep… When to let go and when to hold tight.

He clings to the baggage of yesterday’s memory,
And tries to swim through the ocean of today’s reality.
His palms bleed with the scars of yesteryears unattended
Yet he tries to have a firm grip on today’s bliss.

How can a man look into the future When the woes of time past blur his vision?
He makes it to the other side of the pool when he swims light.

You shouldn’t pour new wine into an old bottle.
Nor sew a patch of new cloth on an old garment.
Know when to dwell on and when to move on.

Picture what happens to a river that stops flowing… It gets stagnated and becomes an eye sore.

Yesterday’s pain is today’s gain.
He wins life’s race whose eyes is on the target
But is bound to lose out that never stops looking over his shoulder.
Best you forget what is behind and reach out for what is ahead.

Think about the phoenix, reborn from its ashes, to start a new life.
Even the snake as it sheds its skin so it can growth further.

Shed some weight and up you go.

Love…learn…live!


©ayansola ibukun