MUSINGS ON ENTITLEMENT

Being entitled will leave its impacts on you. You can however be sure it’s not going to be positive ones.

I’m going to live a happy and healthy life, one devoid of bitterness or resentment towards anyone. You know why? I’ve learnt how not to have undue expectations of anyone.

Yea, God won’t come in the flesh to do you a personal favour. He came once and for all time sake. In the scheme of things, men are the medium through which he blesses men. Who he will use for you, where and when are His exclusive preserve. Coming to terms with this is finding peace.

“Well, my uncle is well to do. He was in a good position to assist me with getting that contract but he didn’t. He is nothing but heartless!”

“I don’t want to have anything to do with my brother anymore. A brother who couldn’t come true for me when I needed his help is not worth having”

Too bad!

You simply assumed they had the ability to grant your request. After all, they have really good jobs, lived in nice houses and seemed to be living fine. What could go wrong!

But what if things were not what they appeared to be at the time? Life’s not always black and white, remember? What if they were going through their own personal hell too? What if they really wanted to help but couldn’t?

When you liberate yourself from entitlement, you appreciate whatever you get. You develop a sense of gratitude for gifts. You realize it’s not “deservation”.

Do not expect to be people’s priority. Everyone has his/her challenges. It might not be apparent to you. Unless you’ve earned it, whatever comes from others isn’t your right.

  • Always have a heart of gratitude, even for the seemingly little things.
  • Be a giver.
  • Take responsibility for your life. Do all that is within your power to better your lot.
  • Learn to depend more on the Lord for your every need. He’ll meet them in ways you least expect.

I trust you are doing great.


©Ibukun

FUN/RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

Hello Good People!!! How’ve you been?!

Yea, I know. I know it’s been such a long time since you read something from me. I say to myself “You have been inactive on here for too long. You ought to get your act together and get back to ‘writing ways’. Then one thing leads to another and I get carried away by the waves of life’s drama. The writer in me was truly willing. My hand just couldn’t cooperate with my mind to dish out those good stuff you know me for.

So, what now? Is my mind now in sync with my hand? I think so. Does this mean you’ll get to read more from me and consistently so? Absolutely.

Therefore, I, Ayansola Ibukun, first of his name, do solemnly promise that I won’t shirk my writing responsibilities going forward. I’ll ensure I put out worthwhile posts regularly and engage yours while at it. So help me God!

You hear people say, “out of sight is out of mind“. I think it’s not always true. People who care enough about you don’t bid you good riddance at the slightest provocation.

I must say I’m blessed to have really amazing friends here. I speak of people who have refused to give up on me but have kept looking out for me and reaching out to me in the course of my circumstantial exile from WordPress. It feels good to be remembered. I do not take you or your thoughtfulness for granted. Much love!

Meanwhile, it would have been understandable had I lost a good number of subscribers to my blog due to my inconsistency. I’m however surprised to see that the number increased remarkably. So to my new friends here, I say gracias and welcome. It promises to be a series of pleasant exchanges.

Okay. Let’s get down to business…

So I was thinking of what to write for my first post in a long time. (sometimes I overthink things). Rather than write something thought-provoking, I decided on something lighthearted. We’ll have all the time to explore profound ideas.

In the meantime, here is what I’m going to do: I’m just going expose myself a bit and let you into some ‘interesting’ aspects of me that you don’t know about. It’s not your regular FAQs. Call it fun and weird facts if you will. You should find them interesting.

🖋 Folks tell me I give to a fault. While I may not be stingy with money and all, my pens are sacred and I’m selfish with them 🙈. If I happen to borrow you one, I ensure I get it back. 🖋

🎶 I have a weird/wide taste in music, from different ages/genre. You need only to check out my playlist to confirm that. If it’s good music, it goes for me. Meanwhile, you are likely to catch me listening to oldies more than contemporaries. 🎶

📙 One of the best gifts you can give me is (good) books. I value books a lot! I mean hardcopies. The feel, smell of it and the pride of ownership. Soft copies aren’t my deal. I think of myself as a bibliophile. 📙

👚 I can do all chores (I mean all) but not laundry. Interestingly, if I have to do it the traditional way, I get to do it myself because I don’t like others doing it for me. Strange? 👚

Ratnendra Parmar

I’m still very much an awkward hugger 😁. I remember been told by a course mate to learn to be hugged. Very embarrassing moment. But i’ll cut myself some slack as mine isn’t the hugging family. I’m getting better at it though.

Are you the type that feel excited when you are around ‘pleasantly naughty/knotty’ folks? We share a thing in common then.

😎I’m attracted to troublesome folks with positive vibes- folks who don’t give in easily. There is hardly a boring moment with them. 😎

🧓 I’m an old soul trapped in a young body. Yea. My thought process, worldview, manner of behaviour and social conditioning are hardly in tune with that of most millennias. 🧓

🧾I’m a balanced bilingual. I thrive in both my mother tongue (Yorùbá) and my second language (English). Aren’t I blessed? 🧾

☔ I like (the idea of) rain only when I’m indoors when it falls and do not have to step out in it. I hate getting wet, not even slightly. It gives me catarrh. Meanwhile, I love the earthy smell that comes with the rain, especially after a long intermission. ☔

🕺 I can’t dance to save my life and that’s that about that. Please don’t leak this secret. 🕺

➿ The texture of my voice is auto tuned. I’m used to people (especially new acquaintance) telling me I have a feminine voice, especially over the phone. It often bothers me. Sometimes, I wish it could be a little deep. ➿

🍲 I don’t think I can eat without engaging in another activity at the same time. I’m either reading or seeing a movie while at it. Actually, I’m eating as I type this post 😂

🍉 Watermelon is my recent addiction in fruit. To think I used to detest it back in the day… 🍉

Okay. I think I’ve given you enough info about me to last you for a while. To the revealing of wild weird facts there is no end. We’ll take it up from here soon enough.

Meanwhile, I’ll love to know some random facts about you in the comment section. What about you is strange/weird?

Thank you for your long-suffering with my erratic aspect.

It’s good to be back!


© Ibukun

A Heart Of Gratitude

Instead of a ‘bad day‘, would you rather have no day at all?

See how Jesus rebukes our prioritizing material things more than life itself:

Matthew 6:25 KJV
[25] Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

… Including food. It takes life for food to be relevant not vice versa. Our soul is more vital to God than things we get.

Life means opportunity, another chance, expectations and desires met, miracles are possible, fellowship is available…Only life guarantees these!

A thankful heart knows this!

In the cold realities of life can emerge complexities. Whilst some are seeking the fruit of the womb, for others, the challenge they have are their kids. To some they need a wife. For others, that’s exactly what their problem is; their wives are all the trouble they have. It goes on and on…

Shame on the murmurer; he doesn’t think deeply. He grumbles at life’s challenges, he “curses” life without saying it. He despises God’s greatest blessing.

The truth is we can’t pray, trust God and His power and still grumble, despising His blessings. This is because the Christ life plants contentment in us.

1 Timothy 6
[6] But godliness with contentment is great gain.
8] And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.

We are yet blessed, despite what we don’t have yet.

True, midnight hours aren’t good times: You probably lost your job, your debts are rising, creditors getting awry, things getting worse even as you are encouraging others. Yet, you can’t murmur. There are blessings to count, and be thankful for even as you expect more.

It’s interesting to note that Jesus’ two most notable miracles were done amidst thanksgiving despite the untoward situations: Supplying abundance of bread in the desert and raising Lazarus from the dead after 4 days.

There are things to be grateful for, friends to be thankful for, family to rejoice over, things yes, things you look at, good health, and life itself!

Next time you feel like throwing a pity party and give in to despair, look around and count your blessings, one by one and you will be amazed how Much the Lord Has Done for You!


It’s my birthday come Saturday and I can’t help but be thankful for the gift of life, for salvation, for the blessings of a loving family and wonderful friends, for the victories won, for the benefits I presently enjoy and greater things God has in store for me!

I see God at work in the multitude of desires, hopes and aspirations. You should too.

” Little things (you) the Lord do for me……are great things.”


P. S. This article is culled from a post from Pastor Segun Onayinka.

©Ibukun

1000+ Amazing People! Thank You!!!

A little over a year ago, 500 wonderful folks chose to identify with this blog. I made a post to celebrate them and also share my ‘progress report‘ on this platform.

I’m glad to announce that that number got doubled today. 500 more amazing people have subscribed to this blog.

Folks, we are 1000 people stronger!

For a fellow who doesn’t feel he puts in much effort into blogging activities, this stride means a lot to me and I’m so grateful.

I’m grateful to you all for been a part of my blogging life. I’m grateful for every single likes, comment and reblog. I feel encouraged by your engagements with my blog and every single post.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t think of you as mere stats/figures to boast with. I think of you as individuals with unique abilities, experiences, ideas and worldviews. Each having something valuable to offer.

This platform has availed me the opportunity to

  • Add value to people in my own little way, without any limitation in time and space
  • Connect with good people from different countries of the world
  • Meet and make real/wonderful friends. People I have come to know in person
  • Be a better writer and communicator
  • Partake of the wisdom and rich contents from fellow bloggers…

Thank you once again for your support and contributions. More than ever before, I’ll write, follow up on your posts, share my $2 thoughts and build healthy relationships.

Cheers to more years of adding value 🥂


©IBUKUN

Words!

I used to have a friend who I considered an intelligent and highly creative writer (well, he actually is). The guy rights effortlessly well. Be it fiction or non-fiction, always making sense.

On the other hand, I was a rigid & (struggling) writer. You could call me a good writer as far as constructing meaningful and grammatical sentences was concerned. But no more. My writings usually lacked the flourish/finesse required to make an interesting read. 80% academic & 20% creative.

So each time I wrote a piece I had spent a great deal of effort on and considered quite good for publication, I sent it to him to critique. However, I observed he mostly downplays them: “No substance, lacking in this, devoid of that, bla bla bla. I can’t remember anything positive he ever said about them. And when I ask him to suggest areas of improvement, he merely makes a joke of it and ‘moves on to other matters’.

I remember writing a short story that I was so excited about. I was sure I had done a good job of the storyline, characterization, plot structure and all. I believed it was going to make an interesting read . But alas, when my good friend read it, he couldn’t see any big deal about it.

It turned out to be one of my best work of fiction.

By the way, I minored in literature so I understand what constructive criticism is and I’m all for it. It brings out the best of a writer. But what my friend kept doing was everything but constructive criticism. More like devaluation. I wasn’t looking for someone to rob my ego. Just someone who could point out

I wasn’t looking for someone to rob my ego. Just someone who could point out what I was doing wrong and how I can do it better.
Each time he makes his comment, I become displeased with what I had written and no longer felt enthusiastic about it. All of a sudden, I start to see from his point of view and begin to consider the writing as no good. His words were getting to me and sowing the wrong seeds.

But thankfully, I came to my senses before real damage was done. I realized that this friend was more of a clog in the wheel of my writing pursuit. As far as getting better with my writing was concerned, he would be of no help to me. There and then, I quit sharing my works with him.

Perhaps his manner of feedbacks was his own approach to helping me with my writing skills. Perhaps he meant well, in his own way. But in reality, with his constant dose of negative words, he was sowing seeds of discouragement in me.

Dear friends,

Words are powerful. They dominate our lives. Be careful the kinds of words you allow to come at you because they create your realities.

Man is a product of words. What he hears, when he hears it long enough, settles in his mind, informs his thought pattern, dominates his consciousness and consequently affects his life and decision making.

Words (whether positive or negative) are like arrowheads. When shot with precision hit the target 🎯 with such a force that leaves a lasting impact.

Negative words have the capacity to….

🎯Set you on the path of discouragement & frustration

🎯Make you devalue yourself

🎯Make you lose your sense of self-worth/esteem

🎯 Cause you to be fixated on what seems to be wrong and lose sight of the wonderful things about you.

🎯 Breed inferiority complex and the need to (over) compensate.

🎯 Limit a man’s progress and make a shipwreck of his goals, dreams and aspirations.

When you have accommodated people who complain about how dark you are long enough, you’ll stop thinking black is beautiful and start considering bleaching your skin.

When you tolerate folks who consistently tells you about how your writing lack form, very soon, you’ll start thinking you are ‘not destined’ to write and quit writing entirely.

When you permit those who never fail to impress on you your supposed lack of business acumen, you end up thinking you are not cut out for business and give it up eventually.

Be wary of

❎People who are quick to point out what you do wrong but hardly talk about good things you do

❎Those who (by their words and actions) make you feel bad about things out of your control – defects and all

❎Highly opinionated folks – your opinion can never count with them

❎People who often downplay your ideas, efforts and activities

❎Cynics and pessimists – everything is wrong in their opinion

❎Bitter people – they speak from the abundance of their bitter hearts

❎Folks who peddle in stereotypes – they are hardly intelligent lot

Rather, surround yourself with

❤️Folks who can criticize you constructively

❤️Folks whose words bring out the best in you

❤️Folks who are full of words of affirmation and encouragement

But more importantly, remember this:

You are what God’s Word says you are. God’s Word should have the greatest influence on you and your life.

Give no room for negative energy. Be particular about the words that come at you!

P.S. This post was inspired by the post of a fellow blogger @theafterthought titled: “The healing Power of Words” You can check out her blog for that post and more refreshing writings.


©IBUKUN

THE “SEE FINISH” SYNDROME 👀

Some time ago, I did a job for a friend who needed my writing service. We’ve been friends for a while and she has come to know me quite well. We agreed on terms and conditions and I began the work immediately.

Businesses Lesson No 1: Doing business with a friend can be tricky. If not well managed, you could end up with both a ruined relationship and a bad deal. Be wise about how you engage in business with people who are close to you.
I held up my end of the bargain. Gave the work my best and finished it in good time. Meanwhile, I didn’t charge her the standard fee for the kind of service because I was being nice and friendly. After all, it’s not all about the money. 😎

Business Lesson No 2: Unless you run an NGO, try to not to carry over friendship sentiments into your business dealings. While it’s reasonable to give special considerations to friends, it shouldn’t be to the detriment of your business.
What is more, I didn’t bother to ask for a down-payment (which is standard business practice) before committing to the work. I mean, she is my friend and shouldn’t default in paying. She’ll pay up as soon as I’m done with it.

Business Lesson No 3: Unless you are working pro bono, do well not to commit to a business bargain without a down-payment. People can be funny.


So I finished the work and delivered it to my dear friend even before the time agreed upon. She thanked me profusely for a job well done and then dropped a bomb on me:

I have to be ‘sincere‘ with you. But I’m not sure I can afford the fee. You are my padi (friend) na. You of all people should understand. Just let me pay you XYY (way below what I charged for the job)”.Note that I had already undercharged for the service while putting more finishing touches than what is generally obtainable. Meanwhile, she knew all along she couldn’t afford the agreed fee but chose not to say a word about it until the work was done and delivered. And why is that? “Isn’t it my friend ABC? What can go wrong?”

To cut a long story short, she didn’t pay me the much devalued fee until weeks later. What was more baffling was her attitude to it all. ‘I’ll pay you when I can’ 💁‍♀️. And why is that? She knows me too well: ‘Mr Nice Guy’ who will turn the other cheek when slapped.I chose not to take offense or let her conduct cause a rift between us. Took some doing though. But one thing is sure. She had lost my goodwill as far as business dealings with her was concerned. I won’t be doing business with her anytime soon.

By implication, she has lost out on:
📌 Having a friend who can get the job done promptly.
📌 A fellow who will execute the job as if it were his own.
📌One who won’t rip her off but will  charge her reasonably well.
📌 Someone she can fall back on to help her with the kind of service even when she is broke.

You see, it’s not a cliche when folks say too much familiarity breeds contempt.


I believe familiarity, in the real sense of it, shouldn’t breed contempt. After all, how can you claim to have a good relationship with someone if you don’t have a level of familiarity with them? But then, my people will say ‘when a handshake goes beyond the ankle, it has become something else’.

It’s great display of wisdom and maturity when we don’t allow the privileged information or access we have to people cloud our sense of value and regard for them.I believe it’s a terrible lack of judgment when we treat those close to us or care about us with less regard while we worship at the feet of folks who care less about us.

You go out of your way to treat an outsider nicely and respectfully while you disregard those you know closely. Seriously?

There is an Algerian proverb that says “there is an excess of familiarity at the root of all hostility“. I think it’s not far from the truth.

Remember what transpired between Jesus and his kinsmen? They couldn’t receive the blessings he had to offer because of the background knowledge they had of him: “Who does he think he is? Isn’t he the son of the carpenter we’ve always known?”

Someone once said that too much familiarity makes us devalue those we love the most because we are used to them being around. 💯

Nigerians have a colloquial way of referring to this malady. They call it SEE FINISH.

Oh, you mean Mr. XYZ? I know him too well.”

” Don’t mind her. Isn’t she the same girl I know? She doesn’t have much to offer.”

SEE FINISH is why
📌A family member of a man of God fails to receive healing from him while other church members do.
📌 A wife is bemused when outsiders speak highly of her husband 😏
📌 A friend fails to take another seriously and misses out on a vital information passed on by the friend.

I can go on…

Whatever you do, avoid being too familiar (SEE FINISH) with people. You will lose value for them and not make the best of your relationship with them. You will shoot yourself in the leg!
Thank you for reading.


©IBUKUN

TO KAREN: ON HER BIRTHDAY

It’s your day today and I’m here trying to figure out what to say to/about you…

Knowing you has made these facts about friendship more evident:

✅ Friendship is intentional – It won’t survive if taken with a pinch of salt.

✅ It’s a responsibility – There are things expected of you & which you ought to live up to.

✅ It’s not a bed of roses – It’s not always a smooth ride or walk in the park.

✅ True friendship endures regardless of distance/space – Any form of relationship will work if you want it to.

✅ If you are not adding value to the other person, you are not a real friend.

✅ Friendship is when you don’t make the other feel comfortable in his/comfort zone but force them to lever yourself up.

✅ A friend is one who accepts you just the way you are but pushes you to be a better person.

✅More importantly, a true friend is real, sincere and down-to-earth with you. He/she doesn’t walk on egg shells around you. Will tell you what you’re not doing right at every point.

I can go on and on…


You soar with wings as eagles…

Going higher and stronger.

You are as vintage wine…

Never losing its taste.

Just like the Iroko tree…

All of your being adding value to mankind.

Like a tree planted by the river side…

Ever refreshed, the season regardless.

Even as a flint…

Standing the test of time.


Happy birthday Karen! 🎂

Thank you for all you do.

It’s been a blessing having you as a friend 🥂


P. S. Do show her some love by visiting her blog and availing yourself of the pretty great contents she has to offer.

ODE TO MOTIVAT🎤ON: ON A LIGHTER NOTE

I remember how back in my undergrad days (can’t remember what level now) the network giant MTN sponsored a program where Les Brown, one of America’s foremost motivational speakers, was invited to speak to us undergraduates.

And without a doubt, he did a hell of a job of it.

Well, he wouldn’t have done any less for a service fee of $50,000.

Yes, you heard me clearly. He earned $50,000, back in 2010, to tell us good stuffs.

But that’s by the way…

He did his thing and did it like the master motivator that he was…

Les Brown

He provoked the emotions of many as he recounted his grass to grace story. Even the seemingly hard guys soon became teary-eyed.

But before we could call for a pity party, he had begun got to throw the classic punch lines at us, getting us all psyched up:

“If I can make it, you can make it… Don’t see a problem, see a challenge… 😎Believe you can do it, trust in yourself…Focus on the process not the destination…If you can think it, you can achieve it”, bla bla bla

By this time, the room was up in smoke (not literally). Majority of the students in attendance were already getting fired up to go take over the world. We all couldn’t wait to leave the auditorium to go pull up mountains and pull down the sky.

Such was the excitement Les Brown’s pep talk created.

You could tell that he was visibly impressed at the ‘commotion’ he had created as he bade us farewell and left the podium, $50,000 richer.

Hardly had he left the podium than the anchor came up to tell us a class act was about to take on the stage. The program was about to come to an end with a performance by a star artiste.

Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise as I present to you Nigeria’s No 1 rapper, the one and only MI!…

The last words had barely left his mouth than the audience (students freshly inspired) jumped off their seats and rend the air with a deafening scream…

Then came in the Mr Incredible (MI) himself, doing his hit track at the time.

The song was Anoti.

MI

And trust me when I tell you that he brought the roof down with it.

Boy! The ‘just ignited’ students were doubly ignited. Some even made to run onstage just to touch the helm of MI’s garment. The bouncers had a hell of a job restraining them.

Think about it…

Just some minutes ago, this lot were being stimulated by Brown’s powerful speech. But before you could say Jack, they were gyrating away to MI’s brand new beat with careless abandon.

In no time, the bulk of them had danced $50,000 worth of Les Brown’s motivation away.

They left the auditorium more pumped up with MI’s hit song than with Les Brown’s fair speeches.


When all is said and done,

Motivation is an internal process which only the person can control. Others can influence, encourage, or inspire. Only the receiver can motivate themselves to action. Jean-Pierre


© IBUKUN