🎂Birthday Shoutout to Blessing 🎂

Her name is Blessing. She is an amazing lady and it’s her birthday!

She is one of the blessings that I enjoy on this platform.

If there is one thing to be grateful for about the internet-wired world we now live in, it’s the ability to connect with people from far and wide – people you’ll never have dreamt to know let alone having anything to do with them. WordPress has availed me of the opportunity to come in touch with Blessing, connect with her and get to know her better.

Now that I think of it, I can’t specifically remember how I made the initial contact with her. I guess I must have stumbled on one of her blog posts, read through it and gotten intrigued enough by its content to make me visit her blog, follow it, read up on some more of her posts and engaged them. The rest should be history.

Even though I’m yet to see her physically, we’ve come to know and learn a lot from each other. For instance, I’ve gotten to discover how resilient and purposeful she can be. How that she is a go-getter and has zero tolerance for mediocrity.

So Blessing, because I know of your faith in the Lord and your love for all things goodly😊, I cease not to pray for you and to make mention of you in my prayers: That God will cause you to prosper in the center of his will for you. He’ll make you grow in grace and in His knowledge. God blesses the works of your hand and grants you your heart desires. He makes all favour and earthly blessings abound towards you and increases you on all sides.

Please friends, do help me wish her a happy birthday and give her a birthday present by visiting her blog @ timewithdanalyzt.com. She is a passionate and inspiring writer who gives practical/positive counsels concerning lifestyle and wholesome living. You won’t be disappointed.

A happy birthday to you Blessing!

Yet another season to swim in the fulness of God’s love and favour.

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P.S. Who knows, perhaps our paths will cross sooner than we could have imagined. There and then, I’ll be able to buy you a plate of nkwobi and fine wine to celebrate your birthday 😉.

5 MYTHS ABOUT MARRIAGE YOU SHOULD DEBUNK

Hello good people! I’ve been wanting to put this out for a while but “some forces” seemed to be hindering its release. Today, the embargo is lifted.

I’m sure we’ve heard/read all manner of things about marriage and its entailments. While some are absolutely right, others are merely cock and bull. I’ll be addressing a few of those wrongs notions in this post. Let’s get down to business…

Marriage is a must

Shouldn’t wearing your shoes to bed be a must too?

Marriage, when done as God would have it, is honorable and desirable. To cast aspersion on the institution is to make an open display of one’s ignorance of its dynamic: God’s love and relationship with His church. In the same vein, to think of marriage as a 6-unit course that one must not fail (in the Lord) is to think overboard.

“Marriage is not a must; rather, it’s a choice – albeit a noble one” .

I’m yet to find out (from the scriptures) that a believing man is cast in hell because he refuses to get married neither have I discovered an occasion where God dealt with men variably depending on their marital status. God’s primary concern for man is his spiritual well-being. The Bible didn’t reckon with anyone according to their marital status. Whether a man marries or not is secondary and inconsequential.

Such an expression as a ‘a man/woman incomplete without a spouse‘ is a big fat lie. Marriage makes no one complete. The believer is only complete in Him (Christ). He/she needs no man or woman to be whole. And that’s why I’m often bemused when I hear folks call their partners their ‘better half‘. In a godly marriage, two (separately) complete individuals come together to become one (in the flesh). The word ‘one’ simply denotes unity, harmony, and singleness of purpose, not number.

Marriage is advantageous but not a necessity.

You shouldn’t be single at so and so age

Such statement as “your mates are now married” is one reason why many have rushed into hapless relationships/marriages today. The question is: Is your name/identity ‘your mate’?

What if he is 34 and does not think like one? What if she is 30 and still isn’t emotionally and spiritually mature? When God designed the institution called marriage, he didn’t attach an age bracket for admittance into it.

All we know is that marriage is a union between a MAN and a WOMAN. Meanwhile, the last time I checked, the age requirement into MANHOOD is relative. What makes a man or woman is not necessarily the length of years but the extent of maturity. Little wonder Elihu said, “Age is no guarantee of wisdom and understanding”.

This isn’t to say that a teenager should start considering marriage or that an adult should care less about his/her relationship status. Marriage is for those who understand responsibility and are ready to take it.

Disclaimer: I haven’t said you need to attain the age bracket of Methuselah before you consider marriage. When it’s the right time, you’ll know and you should go for it.

Marriage is incomplete without children

Trouble starts when a man sees a woman (his wife) as a glorified baby-making factory; when he cares for and maintains the factory (the wife) with the sole expectation that it (she) should churn out desired products.

No one prays to be barren. In fact, God is not pleased with such a condition. Hence, He makes a woman who is in a childless home a joyful mother – Psa 113:9. However, it’s shallow to think that a marriage is incomplete without an offspring. While bearing and raising godly seed is one of the reasons for marriage, it’s not the main purpose of the institution.

What then is the essence? Companionship of course. God created Eve so Adam won’t have to be all by himself. What’s more, the woman was designed to be a helper. The foundation/survival of a marriage is shaky once it’s built on the sole need to procreate. A marriage can survive all odds, childlessness inclusive, when the pillar that holds it is genuine love and a sound understanding of the essence of marriage.

I know of a very good number of childless couples who have enjoyed a long happily married life. Do they desire children regardless? Sure. Do they however feel something is wrong with their marriage because of their predicament? No – they know better. Is God able to grant their desire no matter the length of time? Definitely – it has happened before and it’s going to happen again.

Meanwhile, just so you know, not every couple wants children in marriage. Some are just fine with fulfilling purpose with each other. It’s not a sin. Last I checked, God didn’t reckon or relate with anyone (in the scriptures) based on their reproductive status.

He/she will change in marriage.

Whoever sells this idea to you doesn’t mean well.

I have good news for you: No miracle takes place on the altar. If he/she doesn’t measure up to a well-balanced standard, don’t go the long haul with such.

WYGIWYG is the case in marriage – What You Give Is What You Get.

During the course of courting, you keep seeing warning signals yet you keep ignoring them: “I know he has temper issues and can get physical sometimes. But then, he is a nice guy and all. I believe marriage is going to change him”. How about you run for your life before your life runs from you.

He claims to be a believer but is hardly interested in spiritual activities – prayer, studying of God’s word, attending a local church… However, he has sound morals and even ‘behave better than some so-called SUs. I’ll keep praying for him; I’m sure he is going to turn around (in marriage) with time. One can only hope the best for you.

Marriage is a blank slate. It’s a virgin soil that reproduces the seed sewn therein in folds. The marriage doesn’t make the couples but the other way round. What each party brings into marriage is what the marriage amplifies. Meanwhile, most times, folks get to relax on their weaknesses once they consummate the relationship. After all, they already have what they desire – the other party.

There is a special favour you have in marriage

If that’s the case, what happens to those who didn’t marry? The favor they enjoy from God is limited compared to their married counterparts? What happens to those great men in the scriptures who were highly favored of God and yet without a marriage certificate? I bet those who hold this thought use Proverbs 18:22 as a proof of their belief.

True, it’s easier and faster to get things done when two individuals of like mind are involved than it is for a single individual. However, it’s funny to think God dishes out his goodness variably on the basis of your marital status. God gives to all men generously and graciously.

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Thank you for reading!

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©Ayansola Ibukun

VOGUE PARODY: 73 QUESTIONS ABOUT ME

I’ll have to say a big thanks to a wonderful/’merciful’ lady and fellow blogger – Mercy of Herry Chic Counsels for putting me on the hot seat. She must have woken up one fine morning and thought of what she could do to make me rack my brain this much. May the good Lord bless you for putting me up to the challenge.

Mercy is blessed with wisdom and wits. You’re sure to find sweet counsels on faith, daily living, and such profound subjects on her blog. Kindly visit her blog to benefit from the goodness it offers.

In case you don’t know, Vogue’s 73 Questions is a video series on YouTube whereby Vogue asks celebrities 73 questions under 10 minute. Bloggers and Vloggers have also started their own version of this method, which is a way of getting to know fellow bloggers better.

Personally, I think no ‘get-to-know-me’ scenario can be more exhaustive than this. Hence, reading this is synonymous to having a significant knowledge of my kind of person.

Okay. Enough with the preamble. Let’s get to know me already…

1. What’s your usual Starbucks order?

I wish we had Starbucks in my part of the world.

2. What does your work station look like?
Well-arranged most times

3. Favourite food?
Jollof rice or better still Nigerian Jollof

4. What do you think of open relationships?

➖ It’s a no no for me.

5. What is your favorite video game?

I don’t play video games.

6. Guilty pleasure treat?
Anything crisp and crunchy, like Pringles

7. Your favorite movie?
Hmm. 🤔Hard to tell…I’ll go for Shawshank Redemption

8. Favorite author?
Kenneth E. Hagin

9. Favourite book?
Fiction: Chinua Achebe’s Arrow of God; Non-fiction: The Bible

10. Twitter or Instagram?
You’ll find me more on Facebook

11. Desktop or laptop?
Laptop.

12. Best advice you’ve ever received?

Be the best of what God wants you to be.

13. What project are you working on right now?
📝 Working on a book

14. Favourite colour?
🔮Blue

15. Did you get good grades in school?

😎Depends on which school. Wasn’t much of a serious student in high school. I made up for it during my undergrad days though – came out with a fine grade.

16. Dream job?
Having a social media outfit/Publishing firm of my own.

17. Play any sports?
Unless strolling is one…I think not😆

18. Do you have a degree?
I sure do…a degree in English

19. Nationality?
Nigerian 🇳🇬 .

20. What is your favourite kind of blog post?
➕ If it’s healthy, instructive and informative, I’ll go for it.

22. Describe yourself in three words?
Man-in-Christ, principled, perceptive

23. If you were a rapper what would your stage name be?
Gotham…don’t ask 😁

24. Who was the last person you DM?
A friend you don’t know😉

25: What’s on top of your wish list right now?
Getting a book published asap

26. Favorite part of the day
Evening

27. How many tattoos do you have?
😒Not one

28. What are you most grateful for this year?
A lot.

29. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this month?
It’s still a new one. But then, with a purposeful life and sound health, what can ever go wrong?

30. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?
Waking up hale and hearty

31. What’s the best thing ever?
God

32. Favourite season?
☔ Rainy…as long as I’m indoor when it’s pouring down

33. Favourite holiday?
🤶 That should be Christmas.

34. What fictional character do you relate to most?
One that plays the role of a detective

35. Do you like surprises?
If it’s a good one and won’t make me pass out…yes.

36. Best gift you’ve ever gotten?

The gift of a great mother and wholesome friends.

37. Which surprise made you cry?Can’t remember

38. What’s the best surprise you’ve given somebody else?
I sometimes get the urge to talk to folks who happen to be at lowest point of their lives at the time. When I follow that urge and minister to the need, you can tell how overwhelmed they are about the gesture.

39. Do you like muffins?
Sure. I don’t get to eat them often though

40. Do you cook often?
I should think so.

41. What’s your favorite dessert?
Anything chips

42. Is there a dessert you don’t like?
I’m yet to come across it

43. Cake or pie?
Cake 🎂

44. What’s your least favourite food?
pasta products 🍝

45. What’s your favourite condiment?
Not sure I have one

46. It’s 4 am on a random Saturday. What are you eating?
😴 I’m sleeping…unless eating in the dream is part of it 😂

47. If you could teach a college class what would it be called?
Language as a tool for social engineering.

48. Best animated film?
The Lion King 🦁

49. What has a lady done or said to impress you?
Warning:Don’t laugh!

Back in the day, I used to find hugging awkward. Then one day, during my undergrad days, I ran into a good female friend and classmate of mine who hugged me instinctively. As usual, mine was awkward. She then looked me in the eye and said to me: “learn to be hugged” then showed me how to do it well. Of course, I felt moderately embarrassed. But then, her action created a good/lasting impression on me.

50. The best thing to do on a first date?
Just be you and get to know each other. No pressures

51. The worst thing to do on a first date?
Being insincere with yourself and the other party

53. Best comic book character?
I hardly read comics

54. Name three things which can always be found in your backpack.
My bible, note-pad, laptop

55. Favourite drink?
Yogurt, if it counts as a drink

56. If you could play a historical character in a movie who would it be?
Private Trip (Denzel Washington) in the movie Glory

57. Kittens or puppies?
🚶 🚶 Not a fan of either. I still try to avoid been in close proximity with dogs.

58. Favourite sushi roll?
Local man like me…never taken any kind of sushi😏

59. What song do you currently use as your ringtone?
🎶 Sweet Praise by Bethel Music

60. What Kind of movies do you watch?
detective, crime-scene investigation, power-play, intrigue, epics/historicals, science fiction, adventure

61. Who’s your favorite televangelist?
Joseph Prince

62. Early bird or night owl?
Both

63. Favorite Disney Character?
I rarely see Disney movies

64. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working on a little but equally important project

65. Movie you laughed the hardest through?
Not sure I can even single out one…but if I have to, I’ll go for the Rush Hour episodes

66. Movie that made you cry?
Quite a number of them but Glory should do.

67. If you could sing a duet with anybody, who would you choose?
Asa

68. If your life was a song what would the title be?
Every Shade of Grace

69. What’s your favourite animal?
Giraffe 🦒

70. Favourite illustrator?
I don’t have one

71. The person you want to have coffee with?
Dan Brown

72. What country would you like to visit?
Italy 🇮🇹

73. Best way to decompress?
Watch a movie and go on a visit.

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Phew! If you’ve read up to this point, then I must commend you for your forbearance. I sincerely hope I didn’t bore you with the ‘me-oriented’ epistle.

Meanwhile, I’m supposed to nominate a couple of bloggers for this challenge but I think I’ll pass on that.

Thanks for patiently reading through. Grateful.

Regards,
Ibukun

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©ayansolaibukun