A couple of days ago, I had some free time on my hands so I decided to do some ‘spring-cleaning’. I used the term spring-cleaning in a manner of speaking though. There is no such season as spring in my part of the world. By the way, I hope I’m not the only one who finds cleaning therapeutic.

Back to my spring-cleaning activity, having cleaned the room, I set out to sort my clothing and arrange them properly. In the course of sorting them, a truth dawned on me: Just as we take time to sort our clothes now and then, we can/should do the same to the relationships we keep.

Anyway, the cloths I sorted fell into different categories depending on their condition. Let’s see how each condition represents different levels of relationship…

👖Clothes that had already outlived their usefulness.

Back in the day, these set of clothes were my best outfits. However, with time, and due to wear and tear, they got obsolete and it became obvious I couldn’t wear them anymore – even to the next building on my street. Just as wear and tear happens to clothes, time and chance happens to every man. We need to understand that not all relationships we make are for all seasons. Truth is some friendships are situational hence the need to be perceptive enough to know when the purpose for it has been served and let it go.

For instance, at various points in my life, I’ve come in contact with people I didn’t know from Adam. However, early into the contact, I came to realise that those individuals actually had needs that God would want me meet and set out to meet it right away. Sometimes, it was the other way round. Meanwhile (sometimes), having met that need, we still try to continue occupying each other’s space until things start getting funny and it dawns on me that there was no point in the continued association. In fact, if I hadn’t consciously put an end to it, perhaps things would have gotten messy between us and what started as pleasant would end up being regretful.

Know when a relationship has outlived its usefulness and pull the plug on it with love.

👖Clothes in good condition but in need of adjustment.

These clothes still looks good on me. In fact, some of them still look as new as ever. I just needed to adjust them so they can fit perfectly. Interestingly, there are folks like that in our lives. They are like fresh wine; they get better with time. These set of people radiate positivity and are healthy company to keep. However, we’ve abandoned them due to some slight issues or challenges they are going through. We forget that our lives isn’t just for ourselves and that a friend in need is a friend indeed. A true friend is not self-seeking. Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other. You are not a good influence to your circle of friends if you don’t leave positive impacts on them.

👖Clothes I felt emotionally attached to despite their terrible state.

Do you remember those clothes you were given as gift items by folks who are dear to you? Think about how much you cherished them. They may not be the best designer and all but you don’t give a hoot about that because you place more value on the thoughtfulness of the giver. Each time you wear them, they bring back good memories of those individuals. Unfortunately, no matter how much you cherish them, you can’t wear them forever, thanks to wear and tear. In fact, we may become worried if you keep wearing them when it’s obvious they are only fit for the trash bin.

The same analogy is applicable to some of the people we keep around: That ex with whom you had your first taste of relationship; that lady who went to hell and back for you when you were down; that senior colleague who sacrificed his time and convenience to bring you up to speed… Well thank God for them all. However, over time, you’ve observed that things are beginning to get out of hands between you, inordinate feelings are setting in, unnecessary drama rearing it’s ugly head… However, because of the history you share, you find it difficult to let go off them even though the relationship is becoming draining and toxic. Here is a piece of news for you: You not only lose what you cling desperately to but also lose yourself in the process.

👖Clothes that were excellent but I had abandoned.

Sometimes, in the process of ransacking my closet, I discover some clothes I haven’t worn in a long time. I’m even more surprised when I try them on and discover that they are fit to be worn for occasions. I ask myself: Why on earth did you put them away in the first place?

The situation is the same for some friendship/relationships we consciously or unconsciously let go of. I speak of kindred spirits, unconditional friends, folks who are beneficial and seek our good. Why do we shoot ourselves in the leg by drifting away from this lot? The sooner we find our way back into this blessed circle, the better the quality of life we’ll live.

👖Clothes that were obviously bad and needed to be discarded without delay.

Sometimes, I go out, buy myself an item of clothing and I’m excited about it; only to get home and discover it’s fake. At other times, Good ones get ripped to the point of disrepair. Funny enough, occasionally, I find myself retaining them.

Let’s call a spade a spade: what’s bad is bad. There is no vacuum in nature. Whatever/whoever doesn’t breathe positivity will eventually minister negativity to you. Appendages, counterfeits, fair-weather friends, leeches, non-committal and spiteful individuals are bad outfits for you. If you happen to have them around, bid them good riddance asap. Your life will be better for it.


Where I come from, we have an adage that says ‘people are the clothes with which we cover ourselves’. By extension, the kind of outfits we wear says a lot about us. In essence, we are what we wear. It’s no different from the kind of people we surround ourselves with: We are the kind of company we keep. Let’s take time to spring-clean that company so we get to know who is who in our lives.

Thanks for reading. Your feedbacks are well appreciated.



      1. Friendships are not something I’m good at keeping . I tend to pull the plug and just walk away , sometimes hurting the person but I know it was for my own good. I used to have best of friends back then , I couldn’t go a day without talking to them but I outgrew them . we no longer communicate as we used to . I guess they are now wear and tear to me , I plugged the plug and walked away.

        I have been in relationships I know has outlived it’s purpose and I also plugged the plug. Am I a plug puller ? 🤔

        I don’t abandon good people, but I don’t keep up with them.

        Friendship is a big deal to me , I would say I am my own friend and of course you are my friend . I’m very careful of who I let in even though I have an open arm , because I know who I attract is a reflection of me . so I don’t want to attract wrong people into my life , I need irons not wood to sharpen me

        P.s Don’t pull the plug soon OK . Thanks for sharing ,

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Smiles. Blessing, whoever says sustaining friendships/relationships is a walk in the park is either naive or not been sincere. Although some have a firmer grip on the phenomenon than others, we all struggle with different aspects of it.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. #continuing from the previous response.

          I’ve gotten it wrong when it comes to handling the dynamics of relationships in the past. But we are all a work in progress. As long as we are open-minded to see the mistakes of the past, learn from them and do better going forward, then it’s still all good.

          Keeping up hasn’t been my tuff too. But then it’s something I’ve consciously worked on in recent times. If a fellow is of great benefit to one, such is worth keeping up with.

          P.S. I don’t get to pull plugs randomly. The plug will remain intact.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. That’s a wonderful, insightful post Ayan. The
    analogy between cloths sorting and relationship sorting is so impressive and your analysis is wholesome and fun to read. Reading this to the end got me motivated to take action and I’m so spring-cleaning my company. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. 🙇 (With such a feedback coming from you), I feel like a superstar right now. But then, I think I’ll have to say thanks to the cloths that gave me the inspiration too – I wouldn’t have been able to drop this without them. I’m glad it got you motivated and spurring you into action. Same here too. What I wrote is a two-edged sword – speaking to me and others. I’m a work in progress in the area of relationships and I’ll keep working at it. Thanks always!


  2. Profound. Reminds me of the discussion I had with a friend yesterday while we were catching up on life after a while unlike before “I am learning to let go and take life easy with an understanding of the relationships around me” (paraphrased).

    The part that we often times don’t like much is the letting go. But letting go is needful and that is one thing I learn to do “God when its time to let go for another assignment or plan in another life, help me to”. We can’t have all our friends through our life time but we can check up on them from time to time as He brings them to our hearts and knowing there will still be some relationships that will stick so close as a brother (family) as Proverbs states it is needful.

    Love the explicit expression on this Ibukun. ✅

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oyaa!!! Anu 😉is a goal! I think I should update the post and add your comment to it. O maa make sense gan.

      Smiles. Joking apart, you totally made sense with yoor feedback. Letting go is tough. I had to learn the hard way myself. However, not every interaction are made to last. I however always ensure that, no matter the length/duration of the relationship, I live a good/lasting impression on the other person. An ideal friendship should add value and I always try to do well at that.

      Thanks for your consistent readership and profound contributions dear friend.


  3. Honestly, I laughed while reading this post because it was so true. Some of the things you mentioned were quite funny to me. I loved the correlation between clothes and the various relationships we have in our lives 👌🏿. If there’s anything that I’ve learned in this life by far, I would have to say that every individual you meet is for a purpose. We can’t cling unto everyone. There is a season for everything. When we cling unto people for a long period of time, when we are aware that it’s time to let go, we overlook the purpose in which they were placed in our lives. Some people are there to plant seeds with you but they are not meant to be present when you bear fruit. Many times, holding on is easier that letting go. Clinging unto the clothes mama bought because you want to show it to your future kids will only create a cluttered room. We can’t hoard everything. As for me, I like spring cleaning but I must say, it is tough at times looking at the clothes and the memories knowing that it has to released. Thank you for sharing this post. Writer Award goes to (drum roll) 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 😂. You ehn! Thanks for the award – let me know where and when to receive it in person. But to be honest, the idea for this post may have seemed ground at the point of conception. However, as I began to write it down, it didn’t appear to make sense to me anymore. I felt like putting it away at some point. I’m glad I didn’t.

      Meanwhile, you couldn’t have captured the essence of the post more precisely. You deserve a medal for this. Every relationship is for a reason. When we are ignorant of that reason or choose to overlook it, we make a shipwreck of that relationship.

      And true, letting go hardly comes easily. But then, what is right to be done has to be done. Thanks always for your readership and interesting feedbacks.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Awesome article! We need to be aware of the relationships we have. Not all people are meant to be around forever. It’s ok to let them go. I have had to end relationships at times that we’re not beneficial. I like how you used spring cleaning as an analogy. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What a correlation found between spring-cleaning closet and working on relationships with people around us. I believe you are apt on saying freinds sharpen the mind of each other. That are what freinds are meant for and our freedom to choose freinds, similar to the way we choose clothes to wear. Gradual wear and tear of relationships is relatable to that of clothes, new perspective!! Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I enjoyed reading this write-up and I’ll say it’s so insightful. I like how you associate friendship with clothes. I had a problem with letting go of toxic people just because they had done something good to me in the past. But I learnt the hard way. Now my life is better without them. Beautiful post and kudos.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m glad you find the post insightful. Just to think that it came as a random idea in the course of cleaning up. Meanwhile, I think a lot of us have to learn the hard way to make sense of relationships and life generally. Good thing is we are better for it. I’m grateful for the time spared to read and the ‘always splendid’ feedbacks.


  7. Thanks Ayansola.. I appreciate your relentless effort.. From the month of September I shall not post on word press any longer. You can get in touch with me on facebook @wizzymedpower or Twitter @wizzymedpower1.. Thanks again and see you there!

    Liked by 2 people

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